First complete family holiday - Goa, July 2011

Race Against Time

"But maam, it's a very simple procedure to enroll in individual capacity". That was the third time she was repeating herself, convincing me to join the Mumbai Marathon slated for Jan 16th. While, my one way communication was focused on every possible support offering towards the NGO and its cause. I offered to make their communication pack; circulate the same to my forums and friends in the corporate world. What else do they need? But she was adamant. And didn't know the facts.

More than six years back, I was in Bombay and had a similar invitation. Was always interested to run for the various NGOs I deal with but inertia and procrastination took the better of me. No, to be precise, I had the cushion of "if not this year, I have the next year". After all, Mumbai Marathon is a yearly affair. Then around four years back, work took me to Chennai. And I participated as a TV viewer wishing to be back to Bombay and take part in the same. I did return to Bombay but was on my maternity leave. There, went another year of missing the marathon. Again followed the race through its live and press coverage. But had no regrets. "It's just a matter of this year. Next year I am going to run."

It's been three years since my accident. I can't run. Earlier I had the choice to run. Today I don't. I am here in Mumbai and all willing to take part but can't. The women at the other end of the phone interrupted my reverie. "Its only 3500/- rupees for individual participation"...

If we were told, one not-so- fine day, that we have few months to live, why would we drastically change our living from the way we live now? Assume, we would begin living every second of our lives, doing everything we always wanted to do, acknowledging and appreciating our loved ones and yes feeling sorry for letting so many chances and opportunities go by.

Wonder why we don't live like that now. Especially when we have no clue on how long we will live.

So what's your good deed for this Diwali?

It was just a day left for Diwali festivities to begin. Outside, it looked like the whole world was preparing for all the fun and gaiety which comes along with the festival. But we were inside. Inside the hospital, sitting on the spare bed, trying our best to make the inside atmosphere, if not festive, atleast a little lighter with our banter. While Didi was going thru her chemotherapy. Not sure which one, had lost count in the past two years. Didi was in pain. But as usual, hiding it behind one of her sunny smiles.

That day, the hospital was nearly empty. Didi didn’t have her usual ‘friends’ who came for their chemos and shared their experiences while the injections worked on them. The staff was busy decorating the walls with flowers and lights. One of the nurses told us that they were entitled for half day and were free to leave once all patients were gone. Didi heard this and was all pale. The fact that she was holding the nurses back was far more painful to her than the injection and her sore body. She apologized to them for the same and we could see hearts melting. Such thoughtfulness from a person who was buying time from death with these painful chemos. That was didi for us. She immediately asked us to remove money from her purse and give Diwali baksheesh to the staff. And we did what we were told, fighting our tears back behind forced smiles. And the list goes on of her generosity. While fighting cancer with all its pain and suffering, she never lost her ‘touch’ of loving people and 'giving' whatever she could. For me she is the epitome of 'Giving'. But life did gave up on her, last November…

The Art of Giving is nothing but exploring simple ways in our hectic lives to ‘give’. You don’t have to go to great extents, think of easy and effortless ways to make a difference this Diwali.

• Stop your car at non-peak hours next to a roadside pavement and give used toys and clothes. The beaming faces of the kids will be fresh in your memory for a long time to go. And yes tag your kid along for an unspoken lesson of life.
• Visit an orphanage and gift a Diwali to its inmates. Whatever it you can give. Might be one of the rare Diwalis they would have in their entire life
• If you can slightly reduce the budget for gifts for relatives, instead surprise your maids and drivers this year with something more than you usually offer.
• Give cards and gifts of only NGOs for passive giving
  There are many more such ideas. Have spelled some here which work for me. What will work for you…bring it on!
  

Miss you Didi.....

School Uniform: First Day First Show

Mont 1, Ryan International

Sarah turns 3....@ Aamby Valley

Jan 2010- Seven Years of Marriage & 13 Years of getting to know each other.

Beating the heat with water.

DNA Mothers Day Special

Cheers to all working Moms !!!

The mommy diaries

Kareena N Gianani Sunday, March 8, 2009 3:23 IST

Mumbai: For a woman, choosing to be a stay-at-home mum or pursuing a high-flying career after having a child can be the most defining decision. On International Women's Day, DNA presents the stories of three women in Mumbai who grappled with this conflict within themselves in different ways.

'At 2, my daughter knows I'm a career woman'

Priya Badshah's two-year-old daughter, Sara, is as determined as her mother -- try offering her a chocolate and she refuses politely.The tot calmly accepts that any family member, even her doll, if not around, must have a busy day at 'office'.

"Inculcating such understanding at a young age hasn't come easy," says the 33-year-old mother who juggles with her career as senior manager of corporate communication at a leading life insurance company.

Springing back to work after a four-month-long maternity leave seemed the most obvious choice for Badshah.However, when Sara was a month old, Badshah met with an accident that rendered her immobile for six months. She went back to work after a year, limping and anxious about leaving her child back home. "I was headstrong -- I wanted both, my child and my career."

Thus began her tightrope walk. On a flight, Badshah cannot afford to mull over files -- instead, every minute is spent introspecting what Sara should be introduced to next, whether her diet needs new elements or whether building blocks must be introduced in her play. So, Sara finds her mother returning from work one day and telling her stories -- not about Cinderalla, but those that teach her good manners in the guise of 'fun'. She finds herself constantly having to snap in and out of the two roles.

Her doggedness to find a middle path gives Badshah enough reason to feel guilty at times and become pessimistic.

For instance, if Sara misbehaves, Badshah's paranoia convinces her that she's "all wrong as a mother." Or, when she missed two open house meetings at Sara's playschool, she herself couldn't bring herself to work due to guilt.

"It is a struggle to shake yourself up and stick to the choices you've made for yourself. For instance, I choose to weigh what I bring to Sara's growth as an independent, confident role model vis-à-vis a stay-at-home mum." She clarifies that she isn't running down a homemaker's role. "It's just that I wouldn't be a satisfied individual. Would I make a good mother then? It is impossible."

Opting for this path means waking up Sara as she slept in Badshah's lap because she had make a dash for office. "Excuse the cliché, but every mother will tell you this -- it felt criminal to wake her up when she looked so angelic... and I had to snap out of it the moment I got into my car and pored over office documents," she says, the conflict clearly visible.

In these circumstances, it may be the easiest thing to overindulge Sara but Badshah stands firm. Instead of expensive toys and lavish parties, Sara's birthday gifts include spending 10 days out of town with her otherwise busy parents. "And no, the maid is not tagged along. It is me who Sara has at her beck and call," says Badshah proudly.